When to Speak Up and When to Stay Silent

There’s a pervasive myth that the absence of conflict is good in a marriage or relationship. While it’s great when you’re getting along and things are smooth and easy in your relationship; two individuals will inevitably have disagreements and conflicts. This is especially true in marriage.  

The conflict is not the problem, but in how conflicts are resolved. When conflicts are ignored, the problems only continue to grow. Sometimes, one partner may feel keeping the peace is preferable; and chooses not to speak up about their true feelings. 

Holding negative feelings in for a long time can be more damaging in the long run than getting it out in the open, as long as you know how to fight fair. 

Obviously there are many things in marriage and life that we need to overlook. We want to focus on the good and appreciate our differences. 

So, ask yourself, “Is this issue affecting how I feel toward my spouse?” If the answer is no, and you’re just a little irritated about a situation, then you may want to let it go without comment.
If the answer is, “Yes, this makes me feel angry or hurt,” you need to talk about it. 

This is a very simple but effective technique to help you know, next time when something comes up, whether keeping quiet or speaking up will improve the situation most.