What Comes First: Actions or Feelings?

When you and your partner are in the midst of a conflict, it can be very difficult to put your emotions aside. Many people lead with their emotions, and often to their own detriment. 

Our thoughts actually change our emotions. And our actions also lead to changes in our feelings. 

Emotions come and go. It’s a truism – that we shouldn’t take our emotions too seriously. How we feel at the moment may be quite different from how we feel in five minutes, five days, five months, and certainly five years.

So if we’re in the midst of a heated discussion, ask yourself – is this going to make a difference five days from now, five months from now, or even five years from now?

If not, likely your emotions are getting the best of you. So while you may not feel like acting respectfully toward your spouse, act respectfully anyway. You may not feel like listening to their ideas with an open mind.  Listen anyway, and see if you don’t find some common ground with them.

Because five days from now, and hopefully five years from now, the respectful actions and the loving gestures you make will definitely make a difference in your marriage. Act first, and the feelings will follow.