Overcome Infidelity

Today, 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women have extramarital affairs.  Infidelity is the most painful and devastating experience that can be inflicted in a marriage.  Remarkably, many marriages do survive.  But it takes a lot of hard work and dedication to rebuild trust and restore the love that was lost.

• Understand how affairs begin and how they end

• Learn how to restore your marriage after the affair

• Manage your anger and resentment

• Rebuild trust

In my practice, I treat affairs like an addiction.  Affairs are built on romance, and romantic love is very much addictive.  Recent studies show that a person in love has higher levels of certain hormones which causes euphoric feelings.  The most effective treatment for addictions (such as drugs or alcohol) is complete abstinence.

When I work with the married couple, I focus on rebuilding the marriage and making it stronger than ever.  But I make it clear that before there can be any hope of marital reconciliation, the affair must be completely and permanently ended. 

All affairs fall within a continuum.  Some lovers share intense emotional feelings.  Some lovers have no emotional connection.  This is especially true in a case of a one-night stand, which is particularly common among individuals who travel a lot.  In today’s high tech world, there is an ever-growing problem with internet pornography, which is very much a form of infidelity.  This type of addiction is the even more difficult to treat. 

At first glance, marital reconciliation seem hopeless.  The wayward spouse fully understands that their behavior is hurtful and thoughtless towards their spouse and children.  What causes them to seek a lover?  One partner may seek outside relationships when their spouse is emotionally unavailable or because they need more affection than their spouse can provide.

These emotional needs can be so powerful that a person may be willing to jeopardize his or her marriage, family, career, job, financial security, and long-term goals.  We all have emotional needs that can only be met by another person.  When these needs are met, we feel happy and content.  If not, we feel frustrated and empty. 

Infidelity can have tragic consequences.  The wayward spouse may contract a sexually transmitted disease and infect the unsuspecting spouse.  Pregnancies are common, with most ending in abortions.  Those women who cannot go through an abortion face difficult choices.  Sometimes they withhold information from their husband and their children about the real paternity.  Sometimes the lover remains tormented not being able to be a part of his child’s life.  Sometimes, the betrayed husband is devastated knowing that wife is pregnant with someone else’s child.  Everyone loses.

Marriages can survive an extramarital affair.  But it is not easy.  There is mistrust, anger, grief, and feelings of hopelessness.  But if the husband and wife can make a commitment to save their marriage, then they are well on their way to building a stronger marriage.  Re-kindling the love you once had for each other and keeping the family intact makes it all worthwhile.

For more information or to schedule an appointment, please call our office at 216-292-4500 or complete the form below.