Overcome Infidelity
Today, 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women have
extramarital affairs. Infidelity is the most painful and
devastating experience that can be inflicted in a marriage.
Remarkably, many marriages do survive. But it takes a lot of
hard work and dedication to rebuild trust and restore the love that
was lost.
-
Understand how affairs begin
and how they end
-
Learn how to restore your
marriage after the affair
-
Manage your anger and
resentment
-
Rebuild trust
In my practice, I treat affairs like an
addiction. Affairs are built on romance, and romantic love is
very much addictive. Recent studies show that a person in love
has higher levels of certain hormones which causes euphoric
feelings. The most effective treatment for addictions (such as
drugs or alcohol) is complete abstinence.
When I work with the married couple, I focus on
rebuilding the marriage and making it stronger than ever. But
I make it clear that before there can be any hope
of marital reconciliation, the affair must be completely and
permanently ended.
All affairs fall within a continuum. Some
lovers share intense emotional feelings. Some lovers have no emotional
connection. This is especially true in a case of a one-night stand, which is
particularly common
among individuals who travel a lot. In today’s high tech world, there is an
ever-growing
problem with internet pornography, which is very much a form of infidelity.
This type of addiction is the even more difficult to treat.
At first glance, marital reconciliation seem
hopeless. The wayward spouse fully understands that their
behavior is hurtful and thoughtless towards their spouse and
children. What causes them to seek a lover? One partner
may seek outside relationships when their spouse is emotionally
unavailable or because they need more affection than their spouse
can provide.
These emotional needs
can be so powerful that a person may be willing
to jeopardize his or her marriage, family, career, job, financial
security, and long-term goals. We all have emotional needs
that can only be met by another person. When these needs are
met, we feel happy and content. If not, we feel frustrated and
empty.
Infidelity can have tragic consequences. The
wayward spouse may contract a sexually transmitted disease and infect
the unsuspecting spouse. Pregnancies are common, with most ending
in abortions. Those women who cannot go through an abortion face
difficult choices. Sometimes they withhold information from their
husband and their children about the real paternity. Sometimes the
lover remains tormented not being able to be a part of his child’s
life. Sometimes, the betrayed husband is devastated knowing that
wife is pregnant with someone else’s child. Everyone loses.
Marriages can survive an extramarital affair.
But it is not easy. There is mistrust, anger, grief, and
feelings of hopelessness. But if the husband and wife can make
a commitment to save their marriage, then they are well on their way
to building a stronger marriage. Re-kindling the love you once
had for each other and keeping the family intact makes it all
worthwhile.
For more information or to schedule an appointment, please call
our office at 216-292-4500 or complete the form below.
|